With three younger sisters, we often had loud group conversations growing up. We had the normal sibling rivalry, teasing each other and speaking our minds. It always seemed like one of us could remember all the embarrassing moments from our past.
You probably have the same person in your own family – the one that always brings up the most embarrassing or most hilarious stories that the rest of the group had forgotten. And while these tales often help draw a family together, inevitably the person as the main character is less than thrilled for it to be told.
I remember very clearly, my mom’s instructions to “Let it go!” both to the person in the story, and the rest of us who were rolling on the ground laughing.
I also remember, when my mistakes were the target of everyone’s laughter, it wasn’t always easy to laugh at myself or my behavior from the past. And those were minor mistakes in the big picture – stories that became part of our family narrative.
Very few of us are able to laugh off our past mistakes, especially if they had negative consequences for ourselves, our friends, or our family.
Personally, it is much easier for me to forgive others, than to forgive myself. But if you look at the guidance in the New Testament, the Lord makes it very clear about what we are supposed to do in our lives.
“And when you pray, make sure you forgive the faults of others so that your Father in heaven will also forgive you. But if you withhold forgiveness from others, your Father withholds forgiveness from you.” -Matthew 6:14-15 (TPT)
“But instead be kind and affectionate toward one another. Has God graciously forgiven you? Then graciously forgive one another in the depths of Christ’s love.” – Ephesians 4:32 (TPT)
“Tolerate the weaknesses of those in the family of faith, forgiving one another in the same way you have been graciously forgiven by Jesus Christ. If you find fault with someone, release this same gift of forgiveness to them.” -Colossians 3:13 (TPT)
When I read and reflect on these verses, the core idea jumping out is our human inclination to withhold forgiveness. And to make it even worse, we not only keep other people’s mistakes in our minds and hearts, but we hold out on forgiving ourselves.
Withholding forgiveness was once described to be as stabbing yourself with a knife and expecting someone else to suffer with the wound. Ouch!
And yet, stabbing ourselves emotionally is what we are doing when we don’t forgive and let go of mistakes from our past. Letting go of those situations where we were hurt. Forgiving others who have wronged us.
Don’t get me wrong – I know personally how difficult forgiveness can be. I, too, have held on to grudges, hurtful conversations, and verbal abuse far longer than I should have. I have especially done this to myself more times than I can count. I have held myself to an unreasonable standard of perfection that is unachievable for any real person.
Forgiveness is an incredible gift that God gives us over and over. And forgiving those deep soul-wrenching painful mistakes is one of the best things we can ever do for ourselves, and for everyone else in our world.
When we lay our burdens on God, and stop torturing ourselves for the mistakes in our present and our past, we begin to heal. And although forgiveness isn’t the only way to heal, it is one of the most transformative ways to change our lives.
We work with clients every day to help them forgive their deepest pain, heal their relationship with themselves and others, and change their minds about judgment and love.
Click here to book your breakthrough call with our team. We will help you get crystal clear about the forgiveness blocks you’ve been battling, take a look a where you want to be, and help craft a plan to get you there.
Chances are, whatever you are having trouble letting go, we’ve been in exactly the same situation. That’s why we approach each call with extreme compassion, full-heart love, and zero judgment.
It is time to let it all go – and we can help! Click here to book your free call now.
With love,
Coach Kelly Hale